


A Cat without His Lady

by Ashlyn0767



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Abandonment, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir Needs a Hug, Character Death, Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth Being Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth, Graphic Description of Corpses, Hawk Moth is Gabriel Agreste, Mental Instability, Miraculous Team, Obsessive Behavior, Peacock Nathalie Sancoeur | Mayura, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:08:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22362346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashlyn0767/pseuds/Ashlyn0767
Summary: Hey guys! This is going to be my first work ever published here so I hope you enjoy it! I'm sure the updates will be slow coming as I'm writing this as I go along, I'll try to post bi-weekly but my job takes up a lot of time so hopefully I don't loose this thing for months at a time! I would love some feedback and comments so lets chat! Thank you so much for reading :)
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Plagg, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Alya Césaire/Nino Lahiffe, Duusu & Nathalie Sancoeur, Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth & Nooroo
Comments: 11
Kudos: 14





	1. The Time for Caution is Over

Cat could see the scene before him clearer than he had seen himself in the mirror this morning; His magical cat reflexes and the adrenaline running through his veins made him so hyper focused that he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to forget what was happening before him.  
Ladybug always worried about everyone else, so focused on saving Paris that she left no room for her own self-preservation.  
It was his job to watch out for her.

Hawkmoth had given up on his failed akumas that day, unable to stop them even with the aid of Mayura. He had emerged from his hideout, the frustration at his repeated failures fueling his wrath and emotionally increasing his strength. The fight had never been so hard, had never taken up so much energy without them even utilizing their powers.

Ladybug had been swinging towards Hawkmoth, her eyes so fiercely concentrated on his face that she didn’t even glance to his weapon. He had a cane last time he'd appeared before them, but the body had been thrown aside and exposed a long, sharp rapier.  
She didn’t have a chance to twist out of the way, not that she even tried. Cat was positive she wasn’t even aware of the sword until she had been impaled upon it by her own momentum. She didn’t have time to heed Cat’s desperate scream; She never listened to him anyway, which was why he was normally so close, close enough to save her when she was reckless.

Cat was normally close enough to be reckless for her, to throw himself before anything could touch her. He wondered if this had been Hawkmoths plan, to get him just out of reach so he could overcome them.

He was close enough to hear the blade thrust into her with a sickening squelch, the force of her body forcing Hawkmoth to slide a few feet closer to Cat’s location.Blood exploded over his gloves, over the sick smile marring his face as he stared at Ladybug.  
Her suit was red but it was too vibrant. He wished it had been darker so he could lie about the amount of blood she was losing.  
He couldn’t though, because the dark color was seeping like wine with the speed of a river, coating her lower half so quickly he was sure if he hadn’t been so taken back he would’ve vomited.  
His Lady, bleeding like a gutted pig.

Hawkmoths mouth was moving but all Cat could hear was her screaming; It tore through him like Hawkmoth’s rapier, impaling him in a single spot as the scream cut off suddenly.  
Hawkmoth had shoved his hand deeper, the point of his rapier exploding from her back as his fist touched her insides. He had cut off her scream...her very soul was bleeding out.

Ladybug had gone limp, so fast and sudden that Cat dropped to his knees. He faltered for a single second, his hypersensitive reflexes actually malfunctioning as they tried to process the scene he didn’t want to live in. This couldn’t be happening, they couldn’t be losing like this. He couldn’t lose her.

Hawkmoth tore his rapier from Ladybugs body,splattering blood across the rooftop in an almost artful way, the arc so perfect Cat would have admired it if it had been paint on canvas. There was an odd keening sound ringing in his ears, like nails on a chalkboard, persistently jabbing at his eardrums as if trying to stir him to move. Hawkmoth had reached down and snatched off her earrings before he straightened out and looked towards Cat.

Cat didn’t remember moving, didn’t recall when he had started sprinting but he flew into Hawkmoth like a wrecking ball, his fist connecting with that smirking face with enough force to knock both of them off their feet.

Cat, so high off epinephrine, ended up on top of Hawkmoth, raining punches down so fast he could only see the blur of his gloves; He could barely see the blood coming off his exposed knuckles as the leather gave way, though he wasn’t sure who was bleeding more.

Cat stood suddenly, snatching the sword off the ground and rearing back with a high pitched scream, pupils shot wide with rage,sadness, and exhaustion. Hawkmoths eyes were just as black, and he disappeared into a cloud of butterflies with the snap of his fingers, just as the steel barreled towards the spot between his eyes.

The rapier embedded itself into the roof of the home they were standing on, and Cat clutched it desperately, collapsing to his knees once more with a broken growl. He clung to the rapier like a lifeline, tears streaming down his face as he stared at the blurry rooftop beneath him. He wasn’t sure how long he kneeled there, using the sword as support because he knew he simply wasn’t able to stand; He wasn’t able to face how he had failed so miserably in his only purpose.  
Protect Ladybug, at any cost. She was the answer to all their problems and he couldn’t even keep her alive.

A hand came down on his shoulder, and he looked up into the soft, brown eyes of his Chinese teacher.  
“We must leave this place, it isn’t safe here.” He murmured gently, his eyes full of sadness. Cat nodded, standing on shaky feet and looking down at the sword. His vision swam for a moment, but he braced himself and pulled hard, extracting it before tucking it into his belt. He took a deep breath, blinking away his tears before he turned to his Ladybug.

She didn’t look real, or maybe he just didn’t have the mental strength to come to terms with it at the moment. Her hair had fallen from its pigtails, the normally shining,dark strands now one dried, bloody lump. Her eyes were open, but her pupils had consumed the beautiful blue he loved so dearly. Her body was carelessly tossed aside, limbs sticking out at odd angles, her face turned towards the sky as if she could be stargazing. He walked over, reaching down beneath her shoulder blades and her knees, hoisting her up bridal style. He could feel her bones shifting beneath her skin, her head falling back like an unjointed dolls.

Cat could see nothing but red for a moment, flooding his vision so fully he thought he’d gone blind. It was the red of her suit the first time he’d seen her, the red of the anger pulsing through his veins, the red of Hawkmoths blood when finally got his claws in him-  
“Oh no.” His tutor whispered, a look of pure horror carved onto his face as he took in the scene of Ladybug.

He knew Ladybug, but more importantly he knew Ladybugs secret identity. The issue was that Marinette was not being cradled so carefully in Cat Noirs arms. Ladybug’s lifeless body was swaying softly as he turned, though her earrings were nowhere to be found. Tikki was still inside of Marinette.

“Come.” Master Fu said, leading Cat Noir to the stairway with a hand on his shoulder. They needed to get out of sight, to hide the fact that Ladybug was dead if only for a few more hours. The news had yet to find this fight due to the fact it was late, and there was no akuma attack.

Cat was numb, completely and utterly cut off from any emotion he could possibly feel at the moment. It was hard to comprehend a word without his best friend, his very meaning to exist. Ladybug made him so happy, even when the rest of his life was bearing down on him. 

Cat glanced up as they entered a warm apartment; It was dimly lit and smaller than his mansion, and yet it felt more like home than he had ever felt. It vaguely reminded him of Marinette's home.

His eyes fell on a small sofa, and Cat gently laid his Lady down, kneeling beside her with his head bowed.  
“Plagg, Claws in.” He breathed, voice so soft he wasn’t sure he would detransform for a moment. He couldn’t care that someone would figure out his secret identity, what did it even matter now?

Plagg appeared beside him, and he seemed startled for a moment but realization quickly dawned on him. Adrien had his head resting on her hip, eyes closed but tears silently streaking down his dirt stained face.

Plagg flew off, conversing quietly to his tutor. This caught his attention, looking up to see the two talking rapidly. The word guardian was thrown around quite a bit. Ah. He was sure if he hadn’t been so broken he would be angry or feel something for the fact the mysterious guardian Ladybug was always referring to was his Chinese tutor.

Plagg was arguing with Master Fu about how Kwamis couldn’t be injured, even merged with their humans. The Guardian was agreeing, having never read nor heard of a Kwami ever being destroyed or injured at all. They weren’t exactly sure what they were dealing with. 

Adrien was now doing his best to block out their whispering, wondering if Tikki, the Ladybug Kwami, was still inside of his Lady, silently mourning a devastating loss.He wished he could join her in there, to mourn the loss of someone so important with the only other creature he was sure would fully understand his pain. Tikki loved her just as much as he did, he was very positive about that.

“Adrien, please have some tea. It should help with...how you are feeling.” His tutor said, softly placing a china tea cup in his hands, curling his fingers around the thin glass. Adrien looked up, that spark that normally electrified his green eyes gone. He sipped obediently, turning away from Ladybugs lifeless body, unable to look at his abysmal failure any longer. He had failed her, and Paris, and also himself. 

Master Fu was opening his music box, extracting a piece of jewelry and slipping it on as Adrien turned away, unable to watch when he knew the guardian was making an effort to coax out Tikki.  
Adrien quickly drowned the last of his cup, standing on very unsteady legs. “Plagg, claws out.” he said, his voice hoarse.

The familiar energy radiated over his body, but he didn’t get the usual refreshing burst of energy like he was hoping he would. He wasn’t sure he could feel anything at that point, but the lack of emotion didn’t scare him like it should’ve. If anything, it drove him harder.  
The time for questions, for caution, died with his Ladybug.


	2. Hawkmoths Breakdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Posting this little chapter early since there really wasn't much I could post on Gabriels side at this point. I have the next full chapter nearly done so I'll be posting it next Tuesday! Let me know how this one is, even if it is horrendously short!

Hawkmoth came back together on the marble floor of his hideout, holding the coveted earrings in his hands. His smile was vindictive, the blood on his hands not even remotely startling him or making him second guess himself. He held them in his palm, looking around expectantly. How long would it take for this Kwami to appear?

After a few minutes he lost patience and dropped his disguise, Gabriel Agreste standing in the middle of the room, Nooroo looking at the earrings in horror. He had never wanted this villain to win over his fellow Kwamis, had never wanted him to have the miraculous of creation in his evil clutches. 

Nooroo disappeared in a flash of light as Gabriel discarded the Butterfly miraculous, jabbing the earrings through his earlobes with a grit of teeth. He waited for the Kwami to appear, a rabid look settling in his eyes as he grew more desperate by the moment.

Where was the Kwami of Creation? The half of the whole? The checkpoint to his end goal? He had so many emotions going through his mind, worry etched on his face as if he was 100 years old. He didn’t know how to process everything all at once, didn’t know how to think of a solution to the problem before him.

The sound of the elevator caught him off guard, and he glanced over furiously at the entrance in the floor. Surprise flooded his face when Natalie appeared, clutching her tablet like a lifeline. He wasn’t used to seeing that expression on her face, and yet it looked oddly familiar. He was so focused on the memory he was searching for it took a moment to process the words she had said.

“Adrien is gone. He never returned home from school. The school said he left for home as he normally does but he didn’t meet his bodyguard to be driven home. I have searched the street cams but-” She was cut off, back up quickly, the tablet falling from her hands and shattering on the floor. Gabriels fingers were around her throat, his weight pushing her up the wall, cutting off her air supply. She beat at his chest, the blank look in his eyes frightening her. She was sure he wasn’t aware of what he was doing, still trying to process the fact they had lost Adrien again. This was all her fault, she couldn’t breath, the black spots were getting bigger and-

He dropped her, fury etched in his features as he watched her wheeze on the floor, his upper lip peeled back in disgust.   
“I don’t care how you do it. I don’t care if you die trying to do it. You find my son, if it is the last thing you ever accomplish.” He snarled, turning on a heel and exiting swiftly.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the love and leave a comment so we can chat or something :) LMK What you thought of the chapter and of the story so far :D

~ 3 Months After the Last Battle ~

Chat was sitting on the roof of an apartment building, watching the Agreste Mansion. He remembered when Ladybug had a theory that Gabriel Agreste was Hawkmoth, but Chat had been opposed to the idea. He had also been convinced when Gabriel Agreste was akumatized into The Collector, he'd been completely content with the fact Gabriel simply couldn’t be Hawkmoth. Now, however, as Cat really sat and thought on the idea, the less he believed his previous perspective; He had been so blinded by wanting his Father to be a good person that he never realized how truly oblivious he’d been to Gabriel's volatile nature. 

Cat turned from the former prison, leaping across rooftops to return to his Lady. Mater Fu didn’t approve of Cat’s obsession with Ladybug’s lack of detransformation or, more importantly, decomposition.

Everyday she looked the same as before, permanently frozen in time the moment she stopped existing. Her body never deteriorated, nothing bloated or fell off as if decomposed. Every day when Plagg and Adrien returned the black cat went to try and extract Tikki, and apologize on Adriens behalf.  
To say how sorry he was for failing her.  
To swear if he could take it back he would.  
To promise that Hawkmoth would pay dearly. With a price so steep even his father couldn’t afford it.

“Plagg, Claws in.” Adrien muttered, swinging in through the window and landing softly on his feet, eyes following Plagg as he flew straight to Ladybug’s limp form and disappeared into her forehead.  
He turned on the ball of his foot, heading towards the bathroom. He closed the door, trying not to look in the mirror but he got distracted regardless. He stared deeply at the face looking back, his brow furrowed in an emotion he couldn’t process. It was some subset of confusion, because he hadn’t realized how different he had become.

Adrien hadn’t been home in months, and without someone to watch his every mood, record every meal, every shower, every event he wasn’t doing as well as he thought he would.  
He wasn’t sure it was all the fault of his routine going out the window. He had lost a lot of urges he used to have. He didn’t have any motivation to eat anymore, and his skin was pulled tight over his all his bones. He turned in the mirror, his fingers softly running over his stomach which had dipped below his rib bones; It made him wonder where those abs had disappeared too before he realized he couldn’t feel the emotion to even care. He could see his collarbones as if they had no skin over them, the strong shadows of where his shoulder blades stuck out,. He had never been able to see a spine on someone who was still alive, and he was sure if he clipped his jaw while shaving he’d be able to see bone.

Adrien turned away from the mirror with a defeated sigh, turning on the shower as he considered the time that had passed. He’d run away the day Ladybug died, though he wasn’t sure it could’ve been considered running away; He hadn’t been able to return to life after his soulmate died. He abandoned the name Adrien, never leaving the apartment as the young, missing Agreste. He hadn’t returned to school, nor had he visited any of his friends as Cat Noir. The only person he even saw anymore was his Father and even that was from afar and under his superhero disguise.

Adrien didn’t take very long showers anymore, turning the water up just enough to feel warm and rushing through the motions of being clean. He didn’t like being in here for too long because then he began to think and part of him just wanted to throw himself off the balcony. He quickly shut off the water, stepping out and drying himself as quickly as he could. He couldn’t be there for much longer otherwise those thoughts might consume him.

Plagg was sitting at the kitchen table, fiddling with a slice of camembert. This was a new habit, having begun about a month ago. It was when Plagg had begun staying inside of Ladybug longer and longer, and Adrien knew that he was talking with Tikki extensively.   
“What’s it like in there?” Adrien asked softly, his back turned away from the couch as he stared out the window above the sink, unable to continue facing his failure when he was already feeling so low.   
Adrien asked that specific question a lot, for a multitude of reasons; The first being he was simply curious but he also wanted to know if she blamed him. Occasionally he wondered if Tikki could see into her owners memories, if she could relive their times together since she was still woven into her DNA.

Plagg, however, normally ignored the question of just gave the most vague and pointless answers he could come up with. Adrien wasn’t sure it was on purpose; his Kwami had never been very good at answering or explaining things to his owner.  
The day took a very strange turn however, as a sigh came from the cat of destruction drew Adriens attention because he wasn’t expecting him to answer. The look on the black cats face said he wasn’t sure he even wanted to answer. Plagg looked forlornly at Ladybug, his face twisted up in regret.

“Sugarcube is desperately trying to hold Ladybug together; She feels responsible for her death in a way. Furthermore she knows if she lets go she’ll end up straight in Hawkmoths clutches and being woven like that for eternity is more bearable than even the thought of ending up in the hands of a villian. She will never be one of Hawkmoths pawns.” Plagg finished with his voice barely audible, drifting off into a thoughtful silence. Adrien didn’t break it, following his kwami’s eyes to their Ladybug, knowing the plan was the same as always.

Figure out who Hawkmoth was. Retrieve the Earrings. End him.

Adrien was frozen by the window, surprise etched on his face as he considered what Plagg was telling him; Tikki was holding that form together, preserving it indefinitely. He wondered if she could even keep herself in such a state for the rest of time, though he knew Kwamis were older than anything he could comprehend so theoretically, she probably could. For a moment, part of him wanted to abandon the plan they had come up with, wanted to keep her beside him as if she was sleeping beauty, lying to himself that one day she’d wake up.

Even as this desperate urge overcame him he knew it wouldn’t work; He was aware of how childish that dream was. He knew that he could sit there and waste away beside her until he was nothing but a corpse she may never be, Paris didn’t need their heros anymore.  
The city had only recently moved on from their missing superheros, ignoring the lonely Cat Noir, giving up the aimless search for Ladybug. Alya’s ladyblog hadn’t been updated in around a month and a half, Marinette didn’t post to instagram at all, Nino’s playlists became less upbeat and more back to how his original song catalog had been. 

Akumas rarely terrorized the Parisians anymore, simply because Hawkmoth knew Cat wouldn’t engage them. Even if he had the power to cataclysm both the item holding the Akuma and the akuma itself, it would change nothing about the destruction the monsters wreaked upon the city. Ladybug was vital in fixing all the damage magic caused and she wasn’t around, so without her the akumatized victims were released after a short while and then Paris would come in and fix everything they could themselves. 

Adrien left the window, unable to relive the things he’d seen, the images of his Lady flying through the sky with her yoyo. He kneeled beside his Ladybug, eyes focusing on her face while he tried to hold back tears. He would never forgive himself for what he had failed to do, even if he could go back and repair this immense amount of damage.

“Plagg, Claws out.”Adrien said, his voice thick and his eyes full of tears. He stood, taking in a deep breath as he felt the energy of his transformation fold over his body. The appeal was lost with his Ladybugs life.  
Cat flew out the window, heading to a place he hadn’t visited since before everything had disintegrated. He always found good advice, lovely company and some delicious cookies where Marinette lived, as well as a very clear sense of direction. 

He landed silently on the balcony rail, looking to the sky and waiting expectantly. Marinette normally came out after a few minutes, though he wasn’t sure if she just sensed his presence or maybe she heard him up there no matter how quiet he tried to be. He looked around the little space, noticing a few bulbs had blown on her string of fairy lights but other than that, everything was the same. He wondered if she noticed the bulbs were out?

Normally Chat would’ve waited longer but the more he stared about the more something bothered him. He didn’t like the idea of just going into her room, but something his unconscious mind was bothering him; He knew something was off but he simply couldn’t see it yet. He opened the skylight as silently as possible, dropping into her room on the balls of his feet and stirring up a thick layer of dust coating the floor. He had to pinch his nose so he wouldn’t sneeze, glancing around the room with confusion on his face.

The dust he had landed in was thick, which worried him because he knew Marinette was very particular about how her room was set up, influenced by the fact her mother Sabine was equally strict about keeping the house clean. Marinette would never let her room become so unkempt.

Her desk was clean, diary open but the ink of her pen was congealing in its stick. The look of it gave him a flashback, the blood on the rapier congealing as it stood in the corner, a grim reminder of how he’d failed to skew Hawkmoths skull-  
He shook his head, only disturbing more dust to float up in his face, making his eyes fall on the school book that was open to assignments he also had completed.

Assignments from months ago...why were those still open?

He was moving quicker now, his eyes falling on the mannequins that had designs that were the same from her last photo on instagram. Those should’ve been finished by now, not sitting as if abandoned. Her bed had been laid, but there was dust below the comforter which made him realize it wasn’t being slept in. Marinette’s parents likely came in there from time to time, laying down as if trying to remember her scent.

Where was Marinette? 

His eyes fell to the open diary but he refused to flip through its pages. He didn’t want to believe that she wasn’t just staying with her grandmother or a cousin, her parents worried about the safety of Paris without Ladybug.

Cat abandoned the room as quickly as he could, darting through the skylight and leaping over the side of the balcony, using his baton to vault him across Paris, sprinting in the shadows when he wanted to stay hidden. He could hardly breath but he couldn’t rest until he had answers.

He needed to speak to Alya.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry its a day late! I got home from work yesterday and I just went straight to bed! Edited this today and I hope you guys enjoy the next installment! :D Leave me a comment so we can have a chat :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a pretty long chapter and also Adrien does have a panic/anxiety attack so if those trigger anything you've been warned! Thank you so much for clicking on this :)

Cat came to a very sudden stop near the Eiffel Tower, throwing himself in the shadows of a nearby chimney. HIs eyes were slits, ears flickering around for any sound that should caution him from emerging. He had been more relaxed, more itching for action months ago; The patrols had lost their fun when his Lady wasn’t around to laugh at his silly jokes.

The thought of her always made his chest hurt, as if he had been impaled on the rapier, heart skewed on its end. He pushed his palm against his chest, as if pressing on his emotional wound would make it hurt less.

Nothing he attempted made it hurt less. He knew the only way to fix it was to die himself, but he couldn’t leave Hawkmoth alive before he took that final step.

Cat took a deep breath, emerging from his shadows slightly hunched, baton out as he turned around and sprinted back to where Alya’s family lived, roughly speaking anyway. He had only ever been there once after her sisters were Akumatized, at least that was the only time he could recall. He landed on a familiar street, eyeing the scene from the shadows. He supposed he could go and ask Nino if he needed. 

It wasn’t the first time he had thought of Nino but he hadn’t ever had the guts to visit the friend he so carelessly abandoned. He wondered if Nino was hurt by his disappearance, wondered if maybe he should show up on his doorstep. He couldn’t truly apologize, his father would have men on him in a second to drag him back to that horrible “Home”, but he could connect with Nino through his true self, Cat Noir.

His eyes landed on a balcony that rang a bell, those checkered steel bars and wavy lines drawing his attention. He leapt up, landing gracefully on the railing and looking into the dark house; It was very late and he didn’t really expect anyone to be awake. His eyes caught a faint blue light from underneath a doorway, looking like a dimly lit computer screen. 

Cat jumped up onto the roof, silently jogging across the shingles to the other side of the home where her window should’ve been. He used his baton to create a bar to hang off between the homes, peeking into the window with one glowing green eye.

His hunch had been correct; Alya was sitting in a computer chair, furiously typing away at a word document. He wondered idly if it was a homework assignment as he reached forward and quietly tapped on the glass. Her head flew up, tongue sticking out a little like he remembered she did when she was particularly focused. She didn’t seem to recognize where the sound had come from as her brow furrowed and she stood up. 

Cat tapped again, a little louder, watching as her shoulders froze and she seemed to hold her breath. He wished he could read her mind; What was running through the journalists scattered notes? She took a few moments, as if assessing to see if she was about to be kidnapped before turning around, her eyes quickly finding the one luminous green one peeking through her curtains.

Alya surprised him by sprinting to the window, her loud footfalls making him look around in alarm. She had thrown open the window before her eyes had processed how incredibly serious and tired Cat looked. It wasn’t anything she had ever seen; she was so used to the Cat being a constant joke. Her senses spiked with his, taking a step back from the open window and gesturing to come in. 

He tumbled in, but he could’ve cried when she frantically looked out the window, asking him “Where is Ladybug?” With such hope on her face. It broke his heart again, and at this time he had lost how many times it had happened.

He tried to wipe the pain off his face but Alya’s journalist eyes picked up on it immediately, and those sharp hazel iris’ immediately became glassy with tears. The sniffle made him look away, taking a deep breath as she frantically wiped at her eyes to banish the tears to where they had come from. She looked at him expectantly, not needing to ask aloud why he had decided to visit so late, after so many months of silence.

The old Cat would’ve made every effort to comfort her, but he was trying so hard to keep himself together and he couldn’t keep so many people from falling apart while also holding his seams together with just his will.   
“I’m sorry for the silence over these past few months but please understand...I’m still trying to figure out how to explain everything and right now is not the right time. Do you understand Alya?”He asked softly, his green eyes looking surprisingly dull which is what made Alya nod cautiously because what else could she do? 

“Where is Marinette?” He asked, trying not to sound so desperate but he knew she had seen right through it because her pupils narrowed a bit in surprise and confusion. She opened her mouth but nothing came out and he wondered for a moment if his question made her malfunction.

He let her take her time recovering from her shock, her lips pursing and making him regret ever coming here. He almost threw himself from the window before she could answer, to delay the inevitable truth.

“Marinette has been missing for months. She disappeared around the same time as Ladybug and you. Noone has any idea where she could be.” Alya responded, her body tense and her shoulders squared but she couldn’t hide the pain from him. The tears were fighting their way back into her eyes and her lower lip was quivering ever so slightly.

Cat wasn’t not even remotely surprised by the news on an intellectual level; He knew this when he was in her room, he simply didn’t want to come to terms with the truth. He turned away, towards the windows and taking a deep breath to steady his heart. It felt like it was going to stop for a moment, so overcome with sorrow. He knew people died from broken hearts, he just didn’t want to drop dead in front of Alya,

“Thank you Alya.” He said softly, reaching out and squeezing her shoulder gently. He turned back to the window, freezing when she grabbed his tail, tugging like a young child.

“One thing Cat...Is…. Can you tell me where Ladybug went? Did she give up her miraculous? Did she… abandon us?” She whispered nervously, and he could almost hear the tears running down her face.

“I...I can’t….” Cat was hyperventilating, the tears spilling down his own face and he yanked his tail from her hands, throwing him into the freezing Paris air. It was winter, and he was sure the tears would’ve frozen on his skin if he wasn’t crying so hard, new tears pushing out too fast for the old ones to get cold. His lungs burned for oxygen, but he just needed to get back to the apartment. He had to be sure she was still there, still together, to assure himself he still had time to figure this out.

Cat didn’t head straight for the apartment though, quite sure that Hawkmoth was following him. If he wasn’t creating Akumas he must’ve been keeping watch for Cat, trying to find Ladybugs body so he could somehow finish what he’d started. Cat never went straight home, instead jumping from rooftop to rooftop, occasionally throwing himself into an empty apartment as if he was home. He even had this little light on his baton to mimic as if he was dropping his transformation. 

Cat did that now, flying through a dark window like water through a leaky roof, rolling into a somersault and throwing himself in the shadows with his eyes on the window. He took deep, quiet breaths so as to silence his heartbeat and satisfy the desperate burn in his lungs. He seemed to sit there forever, watching the sky turn colors, the subtle light of dawn on the very edge of the city finally allowing him to emerge from where he was hiding and head to the apartment. Hawkmoth couldn’t really hide in Daylight; Cat’s eyes were too sharp to let him slip by.

Cat slipped in through the backdoor, still paranoid that he was being followed as he headed up the stairs. “Plagg, Claws In.” He said, a bit too loud for the incredibly silent building as he shut the apartment door behind him and Plagg headed to Ladybug, the routine almost cemented into their muscles now. 

Adrien sat at the kitchen table, his head in his hands as he tried not to give into the emotions threatening to overcome his unstable composure. He couldn’t break down until after this was over, he had to hold out and be strong now when he wasn’t able to be before. As strong as he could be anyway, he thought to himself, running his hands down his legs, the scars seeming to burn. He rubbed his nose, getting up and finding some camembert for Plagg whenever he decided to reappear. He wondered when he would show up; Normally he never spent more than a few minutes in there because Tikki was terrified of being distracted which Plagg told him once when he’d been inside Ladybug for less than a minute.

Adrien opened the fridge, grabbing a piece of paper and jotting down a little shopping list. He didn’t buy groceries as Cat, instead he would put his hair up in a beanie and sunglasses on and a couple other things to disguise himself. It reminded him of the time he and Marinette had run around Paris because he desperately wanted to see a movie his mother had been in.

The memory of the both of them sent a shot of electric pain right through his chest, making his hand clench on the pen hard enough for the plastic to crack. He gritted his teeth, trying to focus on the list and the budget he had in front of him. Adrien made a bit of money from helping Master Fu run errands, and he also had a knack for making little things he could sell on ebay and etsy for a little profit. They were nothing special, but they did keep him fairly occupied sometimes.

Guardian Fu didn’t make him pay rent and was rarely around anyway to watch over the young superhero. Adrien appreciated the distance, so unused to living alone that he almost wished he had the power to go back in time and run away sooner.  
Would that have kept the miraculous from him?  
Would he have never met Ladybug? Would that be so bad? He thought to himself for a moment, actually considering if being around her was worth this anguish.

His mind brought forth every memory he had for a moment, specifically the times she had that look in her eyes, as if she loved him like he loved her for a moment. All the times she had saved him, all the times he had sacrificed himself for her and seen that bittersweet anguish in her eyes. He hated seeing the pain in her eyes but he knew she would always win over the enemy.

Almost always. She would have won if he had been impaled on a sword, giving her a chance to overcome the enemy and miraculous ladybug everything back to normal. He went to his room, putting his beanie on and tucking his, now unfortunately long, hair up and then grabbing a pair of glasses that would darken in the sun. He hooked a face mask around his mouth, covering the lower half of his face and completing the disguise he stuck too fairly regularly. Sometimes he’d abandon the eyewear and pop in a pair of colored contacts in a common color but he preferred the glasses. 

He fished his wallet out of the junk drawer and made sure there was no ID and just enough money for his groceries. He glanced over at Ladybug, waiting for Plagg to come out. He had to go and he couldn’t leave without his Kwami. He kept glancing at the clock, slowly becoming aware of the fact Plagg had been inside of Ladybug for over an hour. He hadn’t taken so long since he realized he could converse with Tikki, and the fact it had been so long was making Adrien start to panic. What if Plagg was stuck in there too? How were you supposed to extract a Kwami from a dead body? What if extracted Tikki on accident and Ladybug disintegrated in front of him? Panic was making his heart race like crazy, his breathing becoming erratic as star lit up in front of his eyes. When was the last time he’d eaten? He thought vaguely to himself as he fell to his knees, a hand clenched around his heart as he tried desperately to breathe in the oxygen around him. Black spots started to appear in front of him as he crumbled into a ball on the floor, his heartbeat so loud in his ears he wondered what it was like to listen to silence.

“Kid? Adrien? Hey, Kid!” There was a distant shouting over the ringing in his ears, and Adriens vision slowly focused back into reality. He blinked rapidly, reliving his dry eyes and looking at Plagg, touching his face to make sure he was still real. He didn’t feel real.

“Plagg?” He whispered, his voice cracking and his throat so dry he wondered if he was bleeding. He sat up slowly, his fingers feeling the wood beneath him as he moved off his side, kneeling and sitting on his heels, eye to eye with the Cat of Destruction.

“Are you okay? I came out and you were sitting here…you looked comatoast kid. Are you okay? What happened?” Plagg asked, and Adrien wondered if he had ever seen him look so unnerved. His memories seemed to be behind this glass wall, and no matter how hard he punched he couldn’t quite get the glass to break. Were those even his memories? They had to be right?

“Kid! Look at me. Focus on me.” Plagg shouted, now hovering right in Adrien’s face from where he had begun to slump forward. Adrien slumped, shrinking back from Plagg’s loud voice, clamping his hands over his ears and tears starting to stream down his face.

“You were gone for so long! I thought I was going to lose you! How am supposed to beat Hawkmoth without you!? Plagg why would you leave me!?” He whimpered, crying hard enough to start coughing, doubling over and trying to fight back the urge to vomit.

“I’m sorry Adrien, I didn’t think I was in there for so long! I’m sorry I promise I won’t do it again, here, come outside, let’s take a breath of fresh air.” Plagg begged, tugging on Adriens collar and dragging him to the balcony, unsure of how to deal with this. Adrien had begun to break apart, slowly at first but Plagg was the one who got rid of the blades, keeping a close eye on all knives, making sure to always be in the room when he was shaving. He had even made sure he couldn’t have access to fire. It had been many centuries since he had an owner who had an issue with harming themselves, and it made him struggle because there was really no way to get the past owner to stop.

Plagg grabbed a little stress ball from Master Fu’s side table, shoving it into Adriens hand as he sat on the floor of the balcony, breathing hard and still looking so distant. Plagg didn’t know how to handle things like this even though he had existed for a millenia. Few owners of his ring ever had issues like this, and Adrien hadn’t started out like this either which threw him even more for a loop. Everyday was a little worse than the last, and these panic attacks got worse the more time he spent with Tikki. They were trying to figure out a plan, the ultimate plan was to somehow turn back time and revive Marinette if they could, but Tikki was being quite...pessimistic in her approach. She simply wanted to be able to be out of Hawkmoths claws at this point,hoping that when Adrien figured out who was definitely behind the mask of Hawkmoth he’d be able to snag the earrings from his clutches. No matter how badly the butterfly miraculous was coveted in the past, Tikki wanted the earrings she was tied to found first. In the circumstances, it didn’t matter how much she adored Nooroo and wished he was free, Tikki knew that if Hawkmoth had her he was much closer to his end goal of complete power.

Adrien calmed down after half an hour, but he was still frantically squeezing that ball in his hand as him and Plagg headed outside, much later than Adrien liked being out here. They went to a nice little store, Adrien wasn’t a regular here or anywhere though. He only came by every few months, not wanting to get into a habit of something and his father possibly catching him. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to look him in the eye at this point, knew he still couldn’t lie to him no matter how good he had gotten at coming up with falsities over the past few months.

Adrien made very little small talk with the cashier, making sure his body language was very obvious that he didn’t feel like talking which he was glad she seemed aware of. He took his bags, exiting quickly with his head down and breathing hard, wishing he could squeeze that ball. 

Adrien wasn’t paying very much attention, and he collided hard with someone in the middle of the sidewalk, falling flat on his ass and successfully knocking his glasses off his face. He was about to retort something rude when he wheeled around and stood face to face with Nino, those amber eyes burning into his green ones like coals.

“Oh shoot dude I am so sorry! Here are your...glasses.” Nino said, snatching them off the ground and holding hand out, finally settling his eyes on Adriens frozen form, the body language frozen in a stance of furious surprise. He was so glad he’d worn the mask, because he was already positive Nino was figuring out who he was.

“Thanks.” Adrien said, keeping his voice quiet and low, grateful that he was going through puberty and he had an octave lower he could use to throw people off as he snatched his glasses and made sure he hadn’t dropped any food before going to take off down the street.

“Hey, do I know you? You look really familiar.” Nino said, making Adrien stop in his tracks. His chest hurt with the desperate pull of his friend. He wanted so badly to drop everything, throw his arms around him and beg for forgiveness. He wasn’t sure he deserved it, having deserted him without a single word and never come back in the months he’d been gone. 

“No, sorry.” He said instead, making sure to get away from the situation as fast as possible before he compromised himself even more. He made sure to take the back alleys, even looping the same block a few times to throw off anyone who could be following him. He opened the front door, going straight to the kitchen and starting to systematically put everything away. He had his own way of organizing the groceries and he had a feeling if someone broke his careful perfection he might have a mental breakdown. He couldn’t remember having those before, but maybe the trauma of losing his partner was finally starting to get past his careful wall of emotionless existence. 

Adrien had set out some camembert for Plagg, turning to head to the bathroom as if he could lie and say he was taking a shower when a knock on the door sounded. Adrien transformed into Cat as fast as he could, settling into a crouch with a low growl; Master Fu didn’t knock because this was his house, he didn’t have too. Cat hid in the shadows, watching the door and wishing he could see through it. He crept down the hallway and threw himself through a window, scaling the side of the wall before lifting himself onto the roof and peeking over the side, his eyebrows scrunched in concentration.

Nino and Alya were standing there, arguing softly with each other. Nino was convinced that Adrien was who he’d run into that day, and Alya was saying if it was they should just let it go. Listening to them sit there and bicker made his legs burn, reminding him of the agony he had to go through so they’d be safe. He wanted so badly to drop his transformation and throw himself into their arms, desperate for a sliver of his old life in his hands but he knew that he’d have to explain everything then; Alya would demand the truth and he wasn’t a good enough liar to get past those journalist instincts.

Adrien didn’t want to hide anymore, but he knew that going back into the world was a two way street. If he wanted to rejoin, he wouldn’t be able to hide Ladybug and his failure from the world he missed so badly. 

Alya and Nino were really starting up a fight now, their bickering echoing down the street and making his hair stand on end. He didn’t like how viciously they were attacking each other, as if they were begging for an Akuma to materialize and force him to cataclysm it. It had worked once, when Luka and Juleka had an argument when he was on patrol. They were arguing over...he couldn’t recall now but he remembered seeing it glitter in the moonlight, menacing even though it was a butterfly and if it wasn’t enchanted to be evil, he might find its flight graceful. 

Ladybug wasn’t around and he’d cataclysmed it without a second thought, killing the butterfly with his powers. He had prevented an attack but he remembered telling Ladybug and she freaked out,saying if that hadn’t worked he’d’ve been akumatized and what was she supposed to do if that happened?

He didn’t know how to respond to her, instead just apologizing and begging for forgiveness. Thinking back on it, he wondered if he should’ve argued. Cataclysm destroyed everything it came into contact with, and he knew he’d never be able to be akumatized without an object which couldn’t be his hand. He supposed his suit could be, but he seriously doubted it because his suit couldn’t be ripped and removed, at least he hadn’t thought so.

The gaping hole in Ladybugs body said otherwise.

Alya screaming insults brought him back to the present, looking at the scene before him. Nino was furiously stomping down the street and Alya was crying on the doorstep, hurling insults at the retreating back of his best friend. Cat sighed, nimbly dropping off the roof and landing beside Alya, who jumped back with a shriek. Cat noticed Nino stop and turn out the corner of his eye and he almost smirked; Someone wasn’t being as indifferent as they wanted to seem.

“Hey, are you okay Alya?” Cat asked softly, reaching out to rub her arm soothingly. She sniffled, rubbing furiously at her eyes as if she could hide she had been crying; He wasn’t going to tell her how red her scleras were.  
“Cat? Yes. I’m fine. I just...Nino thought he saw Adrien today and I don’t know why he even really cares. Besides, Adrien was pulled out of school months ago to be homeschooled again. There is no reason for him to be in disguise when he is still with his father.” She said, talking so fast it took him a minute to process what she had said.  
He...still lived with his father?  
What?

“I just don’t know why Nino wants to see Adrien so bad when he has made no effort to get into contact when I know he has a phone and he has still been going to photo shoots and has access to technology. He gets on his games but he clearly doesn’t care about us anymore so I don’t know why Nino can’t just let it go!” She said, ending in an angry huff, her cheeks a vibrant red and her eyes full of furious tears. Cat was still stunned by her original sentence, his mind reeling from this information she was presenting him with.

His father was lying. He was doing the best lie Cat had ever witnessed. He was lying that he still had his son, lying to everyone that Adrien was still living with him, still working for his fashion company, still gaming on his old laptop.

For a split second all he saw was red, the vision of cataclym disintergrating Gabriels stupid face-  
“Cat? Are you...are you alright?” Alya asked softly, reaching out to touch his bicep. Cat was brought back to reality quite suddenly, his eyes refocusing on the nervous girl standing in front of him, left over tears still glistening on her face.  
“Hm? Yes I am fine, thank you for asking. Listen, I completely understand your frustration but I need to confide something in you. You can tell Nino, but you cannot tell anyone else at all.” He said softly, knowing his friends could keep this secret. Alya immediately turned into a reporter, her eyes narrowing as she leaned into hear every word he said, her entire focus on him so she didn’t miss any detail.  
“Adrien isn’t with his father. He ran away months ago,right around the time Ladybug di...disappeared. I know where he is, and Nino did see him today. He doesn’t live here, and you cannot go looking for him. I need you to understand that you cannot tell anyone about this at all. It has to stay secret. I’m trying to figure out who Hawkmoth is and I cannot do that without this information staying hidden.” Cat said, his vibrant green eyes boring into her hazel ones which were alight with utter surprise. She actually thought he’d just abandon his friends, and she was right. Cat was lying in a way, because though he wasn’t living with his father in the mansion with a bunch of technology and living luxuriously, he had abandoned his friends. He hadn’t made any effort to contact any of his school friends in the past few months.

“Chloe was right.” Alya whispered softly, her eyes still holding that shocked look. Cat frowned, tipping his head to the side, his ears twitching at the sound of Nino slowly coming back to the two figures standing under the porch light. 

“What do you mean? What was Chloe saying?” He asked, simply out of curiosity because he hadn’t been able to go into that part of Paris for months; Nathalie tended to send Gorilla there to pick up groceries or special deliveries to his father that couldn’t be delivered to the mansion.

“We all figured Adrien had been pulled out of school but Chloe wouldn’t hear it. She said Adrien hadn’t said anything to her and of course her ‘Adrikins’ would tell her first if his father pulled him out of school. We said maybe Gabriel took his phone, but after a week she said that Gabriel wouldn’t let her see Adrien and she was convinced he wasn’t living with his dad anymore. None of us believed her. She...even Sabrina didn’t believe her.” Alya took a breath, her eyes wide from the sudden realization that she had been wrong. They had doubted Adrien that much?

This hurt, because Adrien had tried so hard to make his friends happy and the only one who had faith in him was Chloe. Was it because she knew him longer? Then again, Nino seemed a bit smug. Something told Cat that Nino believed Chloe, if only a bit.

“You...I understand that sometimes the pessimistic route is easier to believe but you guys need to stay positive from now on. Reconcile with Chloe, don’t tell her anything, she has a tendency to speak before thinking but...imply that you believe her now. Please be patient with her. She is a good person, underneath everything else.” He said softly, memories surfacing of when they were children.

Alya and Nino nodded together, their eyes still locked on the lonely Cat Noir, who seemed lost in thought for a moment. Alya took a deep breath, steeling her nerves and waving her face in front of Cats eyes, catching his attention from wherever it was before. 

“Cat...Do you know where Ladybug is?” She asked, her voice barely audible in the quiet night. Cat’s eyes flashed an emotion she couldn’t understand, but their eyes stayed locked together as Cat shook his head in a soft no. He couldn’t talk without breaking down, not right now. He also couldn’t look away, because if he looked towards where he knew Ladybug was there was no doubt in his mind that Alya would breakdown that door and rush inside, stumbling onto the truth.

Cat turned away, taking a shaky breath and looking at his clawed fingers, currently clenched into a tight set of fists. “You guys should leave. I don’t want Hawkmoth getting ideas. He might think I live here.” He laughed softly, though it wasn’t full of amusement. Nino and Alya nodded, turning and walking away immediately and Cat sighed. He didn’t exactly know where to go if he couldn’t stay here. He hoped he was lucky and Hawk wasn’t on the hunt tonight.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is here!! Its definitely not my longest chapter but we are building up to the end of this bad boy, it definitely won't be longer than 10 chapters. But now Cat has destroyed a very important ally...is it one of his? Or one of hawkmoths? Let me know what you guys think! :D

Cat landed on the roof, the wind rustling his long blonde hair around his shoulders, his green eyes locked on the almost new moon. He needed sleep, and he knew he needed to see Chloe, to venture into the area of Paris he avoided like the plague. 

Cat started sprinting across rooftops, more paranoid to throw off any spies Hawkmoth may have sent after him, unsure if this would even work at throwing him off his trail. He dropped into the street below, slinking into a dark alley and waiting, his ears alert and his eyes darting to every corner and nook he knew about.

Cat was about to leave his alley because he was absolutely freezing, when something made every muscle freeze. The breath he was about to take in was frozen in the air, his mouth hanging ever so slightly open.

Mayura emerged from the dark awning across from him, her heels clicking on the cobblestone and making every hair on the back of his neck stand on end. If he didn’t care about being caught he would’ve bared his teeth and charged her but he needed to know why she was here first. He stayed quiet in the shadows, hyper focused on her figure in the dim moonlight.

Mayura wasn’t sure why she was here exactly. Hawkmoth had entrusted her this miraculous to help himself, unsure of how to fix the broken magic yet and still willing to watch her wither. She was looking for Cat, searching for an answer when she hadn’t even been able to discover the question. 

Her chest felt tight as she made her way down the street, breathing becoming progressively harder as she took each step. She wouldn’t survive long like this. Emilie had lasted longer than she could’ve ever imagined and now Nathalie couldn’t comprehend being with this miraculous for years and surviving at all.

A force akin to a wrecking ball slammed into her back, knocking her to the ground and causing her to gasp in surprise. She tried to turn onto her back, hook her legs around the figure to flip, trying to use her elbows or any other training she had endured but nothing would work as iron hands locked around her oxygen-deprived body and squeezed, making her cough in agony.  
“Where is your partner eh, Mayura? Where is Hawkmoth?” Snarled a familiar voice, rough with anger to the point it sounded like an actual cat trying to growl out words. Mayura froze, black spots appearing her vision as Cat flipped her on her back, his thighs around her own, bands of iron muscle keeping her from utilizing her flexibility. 

Mayura knew she was weak from lack of oxygen, and her focus was wavering as she stared at those glowing green eyes. She was trying to focus on her voice, taking in a deep breath but barely able to process any air to spit out her response, “Hawkmoth… doesn’t know… I’m here.”

He glared at her as she wheezed, his leather clad hand locking on the miraculous pinned to her shoulder. She struggled frantically, quite sure that Gabriel would murder her if he found out she lost this magical piece of jewelry. Cat snarled, pressing his hand against her throat and threatening to cataclysm her with a vicious show of teeth. She stopped thrashing, gasping as he yanked off the jewelry and her disguise fell away. 

Suddenly there was no weight on her tight chest, and she turned on her side to cough into the hard stone. Blood sprayed down her lip, and she fell onto her back, looking around frantically for the brooch. 

Cat stood above her, the jewel hanging weakly from his fingers, eyes full of surprise. He hadn’t expected...Nathalie? His father's assistant? What was she doing with…

Their eyes locked and he knew, knew without a shadow of a doubt that his father was Hawkmoth. He shook his head at her, his lip pullied back to reveal his pointed canines.  
“How dare you show your face here. I have to thank you though, for exposing Hawkmoth for who he really is. He wouldn’t trust anyone more than his assistant with this piece of magic. Gabriel Agreste is Hawkmoth, isn’t he?” Cat said, absolutely furious and nearly yelling at the end of the sentence, struggling to control himself. He didn’t know what would happen with his powers if he blew up.

Nathalie nodded softly, wondering if this was why she had come out here. Was she tired of the constant temper tantrums? She was no closer to finding Adrien then she had been the day he disappeared. Every day the bruises got darker and the screaming got louder; Gabriel was becoming more irrational by the minute and Nathalie needed to escape while she was still able to tell right from wrong, if only after the issue had been resolved.

Cat turned away, stopping by the sound of her coughing so hard he wondered if he had snapped a rib. He turned back, his eyes roving down her body but she wasn’t groaning. It seemed as if something was preventing her from breathing, and he could see the strangest blue tinge on her lips he was positive wasn’t from the cold. 

He knew, if he hadn’t felt so betrayed by the fact she had been helping his father for close to a year now, probably even longer than that, then he would’ve helped her. Instead Cat gritted his teeth, turning away from her wheezing body and heading to the rooftops, the Peacock miraculous tucked safely away in his pocket.

Nathalie watched the sky lighten above her, breathing hard but feeling the cold creep in on her fingers. She could feel the strain in her lungs but no matter how hard she struggled on the cold stone nothing helped with the feeling. She fell on her side, eyes on the stars as everything faded to black.

Nathalie was put into an ambulance around 7AM when the people had been on their way to work, someone had called the police. She was completely unconscious and not responding to any stimuli.

Gabriel looked on from his computer screen, but he had very little interest in Nathalie's condition. He asked the doctor if there was a brooch on her person, and when the doctor shook his head as he went through the belongings in front of him Gabriel hung up without another word.

Noone came to see her. Gabriel would never leave his home if he could help it, and he didn’t have Nathalie to make sure he could use his hologram anymore. Gorilla was unaware of what had happened and Adrien had left her in the street, not wanting to deal with the betrayal at the time.

Adrien had gone straight to Master Fu, swinging through the Guardians window and landing deftly landing onto the floor in front of the old man. The Guardian didn’t seem particularly surprised by Cats presence but he almost fell over when the peacock miraculous was presented to him. He held it gently in his hands, turning it over and frowning at the cracks along the back.  
“Did you damage it like this?”He said, looking at Cat with worry in his dark brown eyes.  
“No, I took this off Mayura like that. Nathalie was the one beneath the mask. My father is absolutely Hawkmoth, I have no doubt about it.” Cat said, clenching his teeth as violent images flashed in front of his eyes. He wanted to break his fathers stupid jaw, maybe watch him spit out broken teeth, or with blood coursing out a hole in his chest.

Green eyes zero’d on the music box in the corner which Master Fu opened, carefully placing the miraculous away with a soft promise to fix it as soon as he could. Master Fu turned to Cat, only to find Adrien in his place, Plagg floating softly beside him.  
“I want to attack him as quickly as I can. I’d do it today if I could.”He whispered, looking at his hands, still remembering the blood dried beneath his fingernails as if Ladybug had just died.  
“No. You must rest, figure out who is coming with you. I know all the current holders of each Miraculous in circulation. You can give out more if you would like too.” Master Fu said, looking at Adrien sternly. He knew that the boy blamed himself entirely, but he couldn’t blindly charge in and hope to be murdered so he didn’t have to experience the pain anymore.

“I don’t want a plan. They never go right. Not without her.”Adrien said, content to argue, to scream, to get out the anger he felt at being betrayed. His Father, committing so many heinous crimes right underneath his nose. Him, being so blind and loyal that he couldn’t even admit his father was Hawkmoth when all the evidence was right in front of him. He could reason that hindsight is 20/20 but this was his fault. He lived in that mansion, he existed with him. He should’ve ended this a long time ago.

An old memory surfaced, of Ladybug trying to convince Cat that Gabriel was Hawkmoth and he had wanted so desperately to believe that his father was good, just dealing with grief, that he had ignored all signs of his blatant disregard for humanity.

Part of him wondered if there was anything wrong with a kid just wanting his father's love but the larger part of him, the one that could see reason, knew that there was a line that had been crossed when he ignored his father trying to destroy Paris in a desperate attempt for power.

“Adrien, I understand that you want this to be over, and I do as well. However, you can’t just charge in there without backup. You have taken down Mayura but your father is still a force that could defeat you, especially when you aren’t emotionally stable. Your powers could malfunction, and you can very easily be defeated if you activate them too early.” Master Fu said, and Adrien gritted his teeth. He almost wished he hadn’t come here, he should’ve headed straight to the mansion.

“Fine. I’ll rest. I’ll use tomorrow to figure out who will come with me. We fight him the day after tomorrow. I’m sure he knows I have the miraculous, he’ll be expecting me.” He said, his face twisting into a sick grin of excitement. He could finally end this. Maybe he’d be able to fix his lady.

“Plagg, Claws Out.” Adrien said, turning his back to the Master and disappearing into the night. Master Fu watched him go, looking back at his box of miraculous’ and sighing softly. He hadn’t been able to help the boy when he most needed it, and now he was paying the consequences. 

Cat sprinted through the slowly lightening streets of Paris, completely immune to the ache in his legs. He hadn’t eaten in days, but he felt as if he was on cloud nine. The end was just within his reach, he could feel it brush his fingertips, ever so slightly out of reach. 

Cat transformed back into Adrien in a dark alley, a few blocks from Master Fu’s house. He felt his stomach rumble in time with Plaggs and sighed, jogging through the night with his cap pulled low on his head, hardly any of his honey blonde locks visible. He opened the door quickly, slamming it shut behind him and taking a few deep breaths as he listened to the outside world for a moment. Quiet. Silence. Safety.

He headed to the kitchen, popping some bread in the toaster and setting out some camembert for Plagg, who was currently inside of Ladybug. He buttered the bread when it popped up, glad that his Kwami was occupied so he couldn’t see Adrien jump at the loud pop of the toaster. He was on edge, adrenaline the only energy keeping him going. He went into the bedroom he had, looking at the floor for a moment, contemplating his existence for a moment.

What would he do when this was over? Surely Master Fu would take back the miraculouses, disappear with all of them so they could never be used for evil again. He wondered if he’d discover Ladybugs identity, but that also raised the question if she would be intact for long enough after Tikki extracted herself from the body, unwinding their DNA would no doubt take some time.

Something tickled the back of his mind, the toast beginning to grow cold in his grasp. He wondered if he could put on the earrings and throw a lucky charm. Would that fix everything? Or would that just bring them back to the point in time where she died? There was no way that it could fix her, not really. He squinted in the darkness, shoving the cold piece of bread in his mouth when Plagg drifted in.

“How are we going to fix her?” He asked him softly as the Kwami came to rest on his shoulder, turning his head so their green eyes were locked together. Plagg shrugged, floating towards the pillow on the bed with a sigh.

“We can try and perform a lucky charm, but there was no akuma or amok when they were….injured. I don’t know if Tikki will be able to fix anything. If that doesn’t work...do you remember why it is so dangerous for Hawkmoth to have the cat and ladybug miraculous?” Plagg said, cautious to remind him of the information.

He knew that Adrien had been declining mentally as he watched helpless, knew that this could really set him off. He didn’t want the kid to rush in alone, didn’t want him to not exhaust all resources before succumbing to the end all be all.

“The power of the two miraculouses gives the wielder one wish, it makes them all powerful. Master Fu has yet to discover the incantation, Tikki and I don’t know it but it grants the user one wish to alter reality. The exception is that, because the order of the world requires balance, there is an equal reaction to the wish. If you wished for Ladybug to be alive again….someone would likely die.”He murmured softly, looking at Adrien. 

Adrien remembered, but he was glad that Plagg had repeated it. He had forgotten that the wish caused an equal consequence but it gave him the deepest pit of dark hope.  
Maybe...maybe when he used that wish...he would cease to exist.  
Was he equal to Ladybug? Would the universe consider him the equivalent to her life?  
He doubted it, his eyes looking out the window but he couldn’t douse that little matchstick of hope in his soul.

Adrien stood, getting into his pajamas and crawling into bed, falling asleep quickly because he didn’t have time to waste.  
Tomorrow he had to prepare.  
The day after was when he’d finally get to fight.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a pretty long chapter, and it is mostly focused on gathering all of our heros before the epic battle begins!! LEt me know what you think :)

Cat was sitting on the balcony of Chloe Bourgeois, the cold wrought iron of the Le Grand Paris signature railing digging into his skin. He wondered if the fact it was winter was just a matter of coincidence, the ending of an era in the middle of the cold sleep of everything in nature. School was just about to let out and Cat was turning the miraculous box over in his hands, wondering if this was the right choice. Queen Bee wasn’t a secret identity anymore, though he supposed that made it easier in a sense. Hawkmoth wouldn’t care that Chloe was the one under the mask, didn’t care she was a childhood friend to his only son, he would take her miraculous but there would be no surprise beneath. Besides, Chloe was a vital piece to this team because she never gave up; If his old friend was good at anything, she would put up an impressive fight.

He heard the door open and he turned, eyes landing on Chloe's frozen form in the doorway, those big blue eyes locked on Cats green ones in shock. He could empathize, as he had abandoned her here to fend for herself. He also noted that Sabrina hadn’t come back to her side, as Chloe was completely alone and holding her own bag of school things.

“Chloe? Did you want any help with your bag?”He asked, softly, putting the miraculous box in his pocket and cautiously approaching her. He wouldn’t know how she would react as her normal response to anything she perceived as negative was to go into full defensive mode.

“Cat? What are you doing here? Where is Ladybug?”She said, throwing her bag to the ground and throwing her arms around him, and he felt the hot tears hitting his suit, sliding smoothly down the leather and softly tapping against the floor.

Cat hugged her tight, sighing softly, the sound full of sorrow. He pulled away after a moment of her sobbing into his shoulder, holding her at arm's length and brushing away the tears falling from her eyes.

“I’m here because I need your help. I’m giving you the Bee Miraculous, and together we are going to finally defeat Hawkmoth, but I need you there with me. I need you to be the strongest Queen Bee you possibly can be.” He said, his eyes locked on hers. 

Chloe, normally desperate to jump to be a superhero, hesitated. Her eyes focused on his, her face morphing into something full of confusion and pain, as if she was trying very hard to decipher something.

“Ladybug...she isn’t around anymore is she?”She murmured, picking out the ‘I’ and not the ‘we’ that should’ve been in that sentence. She felt his fingers curl into fists on her shoulders and he wouldn’t look her in the eyes; She didn’t need him to say it out loud because his body language spoke volumes to her.

“Okay. I’ll help you. I’ll do whatever I can to help you with this.” She said softly, and she felt the box slide into her open palm. Chloe couldn’t deny that she was ecstatic to be a superhero again but in her heart she felt a twinge that she wouldn’t be with Ladybug when they went to destroy Hawkmoth. 

Pollen appeared in front of her, a soft smile on her face as she bowed to her queen, looking so happy to see Chloe in front of her again. For a split second Chloe was aware that Pollen was the only one who expected Chloe to live up to her expectations, or loved her unconditionally when she failed those expectations.

“Pollen, Buzz on!” Chloe shouted, though the shouting definitely wasn’t necessary. She relished in the familiar electric energy flowing over and through her as the magic came alive, sewing itself into her very bones. She knew it only took a few moments to transform but she still admired her suit in the mirror for another moment or two. Cat cleared his throat, raising an eyebrow and turning so he could throw himself into the skies of Paris, clearly on a mission she was meant to follow.

Chloe sprinted after him, hyper focused on being better than she had ever been. Cat had faith in her to help him, enough to give her the miraculous even though she had ruined any chance she had of deserving it in the first place.

Cat stopped on top of a building and Chloe landed gently beside him, finally noticing the little bag in his hand, her eyes going wide. “How many people are coming with us?” She asked softly, leaving the end hanging as a warning that he didn’t have to answer if he didn’t want to.

“Lets see...You, Rena, Carapace, Viperion, Pegasus...I think I’ll give Ryuko hers as well…” He said softly, almost as if he was convincing himself rather then answering her question. She nodded, only to hide her surprise at the fact 6 others were joining them on this mission. She only remembered the time that the 5 of them had teamed up, but that didn’t include Viperion or Pegasus, and it had nearly ended in disaster when everyone was akumatized except Ladybug and Cat Noir. It had been so long ago now, well over 2 years since that had happened. 

The sound of Cat leaping from the roof brought her out of her memories, and Chloe frantically lept after him so she could catch up to the speeding cat. They arrived at a balcony, soft music drifting out the cracked window that Cat knocked on a few times. Chloe wasn’t sure she’d ever been in this part of the city before, and it seemed a bit more run down than the high end stores and beautiful homes she was used too.

She nearly fell off the balcony when Nino Lahiffe stuck his head out the window, not even bothering to shut off the music as he took in the scene before him. He wasn’t surprised to see Cat, but she was a bit annoyed when his eyes fell on hers with a look of pity; She didn’t need his pity or his judgement.

“Nino, I need your help as Carapace tomorrow. Do you accept the turtle miraculous, and promise to be the best Carapace you could ever be?” Cat said, his eyes locked on Nino, probably one of the few times either of them had ever been truly serious to the core of their beings.

Nino nodded, taking the miraculous box from Cat and transforming right before Chloe’s eyes. She had never seen someone else transform and she felt a bit of surprise at how smoothly Nino fit into the Carapace persona. Cat immediately leapt off to another direction of the city, Chloe and Nino sprinting after him. They gave each other the side eye and kept even more distance between them, separating off the rooftop they had previously occupied together.

It didn’t take as long to land on another rooftop, though the balcony was currently occupied by a large, older girl and two twins rambunctiously chasing each other around and around. Cat frowned, leaning back from the edge and turning to Nino.

“Do you know where Alya is?” He asked, and she also turned to look at him. She supposed that Rena Rouge, the fox miraculous holder, was Alya since that was really the only explanation that fit. Nino sighed, running a hand over his green capped head and shrugging.

“If she isn’t here she is probably at the library. She’s been digging into the internet, looking for anything to bring her back to Hawkmoth and who he could possibly be and how to help you since Ladybug...isn’t around.” He said, hesitant to say he was positive that Ladybug was dead. Cat obviously knew and he wasn’t a very good liar; He wore his depression and his loneliness like a big red X on his forehead.

“We’ll stop by for her last then, I don’t want to go looking all over for her. Besides, her family is here and they shouldn’t watch her transform. Come on, we are heading towards the Seine, let's be as quick as possible.” Cat said, taking off before his sentence was even really able to sink in.

Nino and Chloe held back a bit, Chloe frantically speaking as her brain caught up with the danger they were in.  
“Why isn’t he being more secretive? Why is he bringing us along to everyone? Now everyone knows each other's identities! Is this where it ends? I know he knows who Hawkmoth is but if he does then this should be easy, why aren’t we saying goodbye to our family? Why-” Chloe was cut off by Ninos sharp tone, annoyed by her pessimism. 

“Listen, Queen Bee, I understand your concerns but you need to stop thinking so hard. That isn’t going to help you, it is just going to terrify you. We aren’t telling anyone because this is Hawkmoth. If we...fail, then none of our families identities are leaked, and neither are ours. If we are successful it more than likely ends here; It doesn’t matter if we know after tomorrow because Hawkmoth won't exist to wreak havoc anymore. We won’t need to be superheros. Now can you please shut up and just focus on whatever plan Cat Noir has? Because both endings suck and I don’t want to think about either of them.”He finished by jumping away from her, running faster so as to catch up with their black cat.

Chloe felt a feeling rising in her chest, a very familiar emotion that a certain supervillain used to feed on as viciously as he could. She took a deep breath, thinking about the calming energy that flowed through her when she did yoga which she took up to fill the time she used to spend with Sabrina. She would deal with the hurt and betrayal later when she was swimming, because exercise always made her feel better, but for now all she could do was keep up with the two in front of her and ignore the tears trying to burn a hole in her throat.

Nino was standing on the wall leading down to the Couffaine houseboat, not surprised that they were here. He felt for Luka deeply, he hadn’t been to school in a while now and he supposed he was taking online classes as he drowned himself in his music. He used to be involved in their group because he was Juleka’s brother and he liked Marinette but he had basically disappeared after Marinette had. 

Cat emerged with Viperion, and Carapace actually had to do a double take to the scene in front of him. Viperion, Luka, used to have blue tips in his hair but his hair was now completely black and pulled back into a ponytail because it had gotten so long. Carapace watched the two move and was just now noticing how incredibly skinny both super heros looked; Practically skeletal. Luka used to be quite built but now he was probably as skinny as his height class could achieve, which was the same for Cat Noir.

Neither superhero was thriving without their other halves, and Nino was suddenly quite thankful he had Alya with him still, even if she was going through a lot with her friend still missing. Viperion and Cat landed next to Nino as Chloe also arrived to the group after taking a moment to find Alya, who had just returned home. 

Cat frowned, thinking of the fact he needed Max and Kagami now. Max would be easy, especially since Cat was pretty sure he was at a gaming cafe at the moment, but Kagami rarely left her mother's side and he wasn’t sure what her schedule was like these days. 

Cat was looking at his screen on his baton while they ran to Max’s favourite gaming cafe, but as he scrolled through his instagram he suddenly stopped, feeling his hair ruffle in the breeze as the others flew by him.

Kagami had moved back to Japan a month ago, and she had no plans to come back anytime soon as expressed by one of her instagram posts. Cat growled, wanting to throw his baton into the sky. He needed Ryuko, and needed the dragon miraculous on his team. Cat leaned back, eyes on the sky as he tried to think of someone else to use the miraculous, someone other than the person that wasn’t even breathing right now. 

“Viperion, where is your sister?” Cat said, turning and looking at him, his eyes desperate to find anyone to replace her. He could just have Max teleport them but he was quite sure that she wouldn’t come, even if she got to be a miraculous holder again. 

“Why?” He said, instead of just answering like Cat was expecting. He was a tad taken aback, and he frowned, standing a little straighter. Luka used to be taller than him but they stood eye to eye now, and desperate green locked onto suspicious aqua.

“I want to give her the Dragon Miraculous.” Cat said, expecting no other answer than her current location.   
“I don’t think that's a good idea. My mom only has two kids, and if one of us doesn’t come back I think she’ll survive but if both of us disappear? She’ll sink her boat in a second. My sister isn’t coming.”He said, crossing his arms, eyes turning to angry slits. He knew Cat was on a sucide mission, and he wanted in on it but his sister still had plenty to live for and she was definitely not coming.

“Viperion...I understand your concern but I need someone to wear the dragon miraculous. We can’t do this without the power of Weather and the previous holder isn’t around anymore.”He said, trying to keep calm but there was a wildness in his eyes; His resolve was slipping and he needed to bring this team together, to finally bring down his evil father….to finally get Ladybug back.

“That sounds like a you issue. My sister isn’t being dragged into this.”Viperion said back, not even bothering to hide the venom in his voice. Cat and Viperion had slowly been inching closer but they were almost nose to nose and Chloe was getting incredibly nervous, pushing between them and pushing them apart, a hand on each chest.

“Boys, boys, listen. We have other options Cat, and we can utilize those until we don’t have any more. Viperion, I understand your concern but if no one else will take the miraculous we don’t have a choice. Come on, who else do we have in our….your friend group that we could use?”She said, surprised by the optimism in her voice. Chloe wasn’t the one to normally bring people up, together, out of misery.

Cat frowned, turning away and crossing his arms, racking his brain for someone he could give this damn dragon too. Carapace was the first to pipe up, his voice quiet and cautious.  
“What about Alix? I have no doubt she can handle the responsibility and she is super fast. She can be an asset.” He said, placing a hand on Cats shoulder and squeezing softly, remembering how Adrien always calmed down with a gentle reminder someone was there for him.

Cat nodded, looking down at his phone and looking through Alix’s social media, trying to figure out where she was at the moment. Ah, the Trocadero, which he supposed he should’ve known since she liked to race about the place and beat her speed records. Cat took off instead to catch Max before he left the gaming cafe, jumping from rooftop to rooftop as quickly as he could.

It seemed almost as if Max had been expecting them; He was waiting patiently outside the cafe and didn’t hesitate or question why he was being brought on the mission. He just took it and ran into an alley to transform. Cat nodded, turning to Carapace and pushing the fox miraculous into his hand, looking him dead in the eye.

“Get it to Alya, do not lose it. Transform and meet me at the Eiffel Tower when you guys are ready. We need to straighten out our game plan.” He said, and watched Carapace nod before taking off, the opposite direction that Cat was heading to give Alix her first miraculous.

Cat stopped at the foot of the stairs, scanning around for the bright pink hair of his friend to tell him where she was. He turned to Viperion only to be side swiped by the very person he was looking for, who screeched to a frantic halt and there was sweat running down her bright pink face, the surprise in her eyes making him nervous. 

Viperion laughed, for the first time in a long time, at the look on both their faces and Chloe smacked his arm softly, though there was also a smile on her face she wasn’t trying very hard to frown away. 

Cat huffed, standing up quickly and holding his hand out to Alix, though she didn’t seem very eager to take the intimidating palm being offered to her.  
“What do you need?”She asked, getting right to the point. The park was abandoned at the moment; The sun was going down so most of the birds had flown off and parents had left to put their children to bed. Alix had taken advantage of the dying sunlight and the lack of people to carelessly throw herself into skating as fast she possibly could.

“I discovered Hawkmoth's identity and I am entrusting you with a miraculous to help fight him. We only have one shot at this and I want to be sure he doesn’t escape. Are you in?”He said, so happy that she wasn’t one to beat around the bush. They hadn’t been too close when he was in school but he liked her attitude and how she was very straight to the point.

“Yes. Which miraculous?” She asked, excitement lighting her veins on fire. Cat wordlessly handed her the dragon miraculous, eyes glaring at Viperion over her distracted shoulder. Viperion glared back, neither of them particularly happy with the other at the moment.

Longg appeared before the group in a flash of light, though he was obviously not expecting to be met with someone other than Kagami. They glanced back at Cat in confusion but Cat just shook his head, and Longg understood.

“Good evening young lady, I am Longg, the dragon kwami who can grant you the power of weather. Activating our powers only take the sentence “Longg, bring the storm!”, and to remove the transformation you will say “Longg, Open Sky.” You have three powers to utilize, the ability to turn into air, into water, and then to control lightning for a single moment. If you’d like to transform, please go ahead and do so.” Longg explained patiently as Alix nodded along, nowhere near patient enough to really listen to everything except the important bits. She hooked the choker around her neck and took a deep breath before she transformed. 

Cat let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding when Alix was settled in front of them, smirking through the red and black ensemble. “Okay, what do you want us to call you Alix?” He asked, knowing that Ryuko wouldn’t work.

“Call me Drac. After that old french fairy tale about the invisible dragon.” Alix said, trying to be simple about it. Cat simply shrugged and the group turned within second of each other, all of them jumping off and towards the Eiffel tower.

The sun was in the middle of the sky but the cold air of winter was making them shiver, regretting the platform there were meeting on, but civilians weren’t allowed up here. Cat was standing as he scanned the horizon, his anxiety shooting danger signals in his mind. Where were Alya and Nino?


End file.
